It comes like a tsunami 

Things started getting a little bit rougher, and then the big waves come.

It is so hard when these waves start crashing down upon you to rise above it, to cling onto whatever you can to keep your head above water.

But as my mind feels like it is sinking and being pounded by the surf, I think of what I can do to rise up.  What can I do that is constructive and can help me keep a float.

I haven’t always done this though, and it feels that sometimes I don’t catch things early enough.  But I have to try.

In the past I have capitulated, letting the waves drown me.  The result was more and more negativity, as I got carried away in the  swell.

As I felt like I was being pushed under, I would then do things that seemed at the time, like reached for a life raft.  Drinking to much.  Acting out in a self-righteous manner.  It was me against the world, at least in my head.  And it ended up with me more often than not taking risks I didn’t need to.  

More importantly, it ended up with me feeling worse about myself and just feeding the nasty thoughts in my head.

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